What Comes next (Post 2020 election)

With the events of the election and of this last year and, in reality, these last four years, some of us have been left with wounds that are in need of healing. To address this healing, we need to look at the elements that these wounds consist of. There are in-depth personal elements as well as broad elements that apply more generally. The in-depth elements need to be looked at a much more focused and personal level, and would be best engaged in a mental health setting. What I will talk about here are the broader elements which have to be looked at individually and in relationship to each other. These will be things that you can begin to have a conversation with your loved ones, as well as in a mental health setting. The elements to consider and focus on are:

Engaging with individuals is going to require working from emotional intelligence rather than rational intelligence. Emotional intelligence focuses on the value and meaning, and especially the information, that our emotions provide us. It must be understood that emotional information is not the same as facts. Understanding this makes it harder for it to be misused against you.

It is necessary to look at the elements and nature of narcissism and its expression, both overtly and covertly. Narcissistic behavior can underlie other issues such as racism and dehumanization, which many have seen over the course of the last four years. 

Because of the nature of the actions that have happened over the last four years and in the course of this year, it’s also important for us to look at the concepts of domestic violence, especially when narcissistic behavior ends in failures of the narcissist’s goals. This can create threats for our individual and collective safety. 

No matter where you stand, there are those who support the notions expressed on all sides. Because of that, it is impossible to take a path of shaming someone into changing their views. We must operate with an understanding of the previous points and remember that we have no power to actually change other people, but can only change ourselves. What we can do is to try to create an environment and conditions that support a shift toward humanizing everyone.

We also have to accept that the notion of being a savior and/or “knight in shining armor” can be detrimental in a situation like this. Attempting to save someone by changing them becomes a form of codependency and becomes a reflection of needs we need to resolve in ourselves.

Please refer to the links at the end of this article for more information on some of these concepts.

The elements listed above are places to begin the discussion on healing for ourselves and our future when confronted with these behaviors, which have become intergenerational and part of the deeper legacy of our world.